Learning to Trust the Divine Masculine is a Dance

As a patron of the arts, I find beauty in more than just its aesthetic. I often discover spiritual and life truths in the ways that I interpret it.

Over the past few years, the Internet has been inundated with discussions about the divine feminine, which physical attributes and internal characteristics are emblematic of “feminine women,” and how feminine energy is defined. However, it appears that amidst the excitement and desire to pursue a specific lifestyle, there’s been a conflation of multiple ideas.

Feminine energy has no gender, and femininity (as it’s related to womanhood) is a social construct. Adhering to a specific beauty aesthetic, and wearing lipstick and dresses, does not equate to feminine energy, but instead to a Western ideal. Every human has both masculine and feminine energies; although one usually assumes dominance.

Feminine energy is WATER 💦. It’s intuitive, receptive, nurturing, creative, empathic, supportive and covets adoration.

Masculine energy is FIRE 🔥. It’s protective, purposeful, stable, action-oriented, and craves prestige and stature. The masculine yearns to be needed, and leaps at opportunities to be a hero.

Both energies love to be complimented, but the feminine finds fulfillment in being a muse. The masculine finds satisfaction in being a provider, rescuer, and problem-solver.

I describe anyone who has been disconnected from their dominant energy, or other crucial elements of their psyche, as having been “away from themselves.”

In my book, The Muse's Guide to Reinvention, I describe how I was nearly 30 years old before I “came home to myself” after completing deep, integrative shadow work; calibrating to spiritual attunement, and undergoing a complete ego death.

I was always intrinsically connected to the feminine, but emotional dysregulation had trapped me in a dissociated state (where I was only able to protect myself by overdrawing on the masculine), and thus, it took a long time before I fully understood and embraced all aspects of my energy and nature.

LEARN MORE about my transformational journey and receive the tools, sageness, and inspired imaginativeness to strategize (and conjure) the life you’ve been deeply yearning to lead.

Women, or anyone who desires to reconnect with (or discover their divine feminine power), must understand the principles of both energies, but especially their polarity: the masculine.

In order to be “soft,” and radiate and exude feminine charm and allure, there must be first be protection and care. As an act of self-preservation, the feminine will usually deny its true nature as an attempt to prevent tender and vulnerable areas from being exposed to “beasts.”

Beasts can be of the worldly and metaphysical planes, existing as both deceptive and malicious people (and energies). Therefore, it is the Masculine’s deeply cherished, and needed much role, to be a “beast-slayer” – in whatever form that beast should appear.

In the absence of protection, the feminine quite literally cannot exist.

As a woman, it will be difficult to embrace the feminine if you consistently welcome partners who do not protect and GIVE (as you were made and desire) to receive. Additionally, being mentally in “emergency mode,” or tired, stressed, and under-appreciated will have the same effect. You will lose that elemental spark of creativity, support, warmth, and sensitivity in the presence of a partner you cannot trust.

Similarly, and again, I call note to the fact that "masculine" and "feminine" are energies, and not people or genders, you must (within yourself) possess the potential for self-sufficiency and protection. Your own masculinity should assume the position of protecting the feminine, as (and when) needed. This projection could come in the form of erecting boundaries, or not exposing your sweet, soft underbelly until one has proven not to be a "beast."

Just as Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron danced their way to understanding each other in the movie scene from An American in Paris (reference video above), we must FIRST understand what makes a GREAT DANCE PARTNER.

To support, you must have assurance. When it’s time for “lifts,” your partner must be able to carry his own weight (and yours) without letting you fall. If you feel unsafe, your body will tense up, which can create a risk of injury for you both. A smooth merger of both energies can only be gauged through consistent “rehearsal,” consistency and effort.

As each of us are individuals, and desire and require different things, there are no hard, fast rules to determining what makes a great, divine masculine partner, but here's a short list of how the usual "dance" should unfold:

1. Allow the masculine to pursue, and simply be receptive to the pursuit
2. Set boundaries
3. Build a foundation of mutual respect
4. Develop trust over time. Beware of love-bombing.
5. Require for trust to be earned, not defaulted
6. Inspire adoration by maintaining your standards. Either he'll rise to the occasion, or he won't, which saves you time.
7. Coyly communicate your desires. Demands are anti-seductive, and if you have to ask twice, he probably isn't the one.
8. Surrender only after “rehearsals.” Consistency and effort are progress indicators. I'll leave it to you to define what surrender means on your terms.
9. Mirror energy. Never anything more than what is being extended to you.
10. Always listen to your intuition
11. As a Muse, you can inspire, but you cannot force. Never be afraid to dance alone.

Remember, when you’re in alignment with the dance, then your divine feminine energy will naturally exude. Of course, exterior plays a big role in the seduction, but I’ll save that point for another post.

It’s all a dance…and a balance. Pointe your toes and choose your partner(s) carefully. 💋

If you're seeking personal, in-depth guidance and support as you navigate the dating process — and you desire to attract divine masculine partners that adore, respect and cherish support you — I'm available for 1:1 coaching sessions.

xo,

Bella

Film Credits: An American in Paris (1951). Director: Vincente Minnelli. Writer: Alan Jay Lerner. Starring: Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron.

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