4 Seductive Flirting Tips
“Excuse me, did you say that you work with horses?” a deep voice asked.
I looked up from my MacBook with a smile in my eyes. He was leaning towards me, so I held his gaze.
“Yes, I love horses. I'm an intuitive coach, and I specialize in equine-assisted healing.”
I’d noticed him glance in my direction when I'd mentioned horses to my friend sitting next to me. I knew it had piqued his interest, but I didn’t want to let him know that I’d noticed his attention turn towards me. At least, not yet.
“My mother is a psychologist,” he continued. “You’re a therapist?”
“Grad student,” I replied, finally letting my plump, red lips part into a smile.
*Note: This encounter took place before I left my graduate program.
I focused my full piercing, Scorpio gaze on him. I knew that whatever scene I imagined in my mind would reflect on my face – so I thought about the decadent, black lacy lingerie I was wearing underneath my off-the-shoulder, floral dress. The roses on my dress perfectly matched the “Ferrari Red” nail polish on my long fingers. The red complimented my glowing, caramel skin and I knew it.
Everything I was wearing had been carefully curated. I didn’t know I’d meet this particular man today, but the possibility of a new connection is always dripping in the back of my mind.
Physical attraction is usually the fastest "arrow," and if you’re able to grab ahold of the initial chemistry and insert an element of seduction, that arrow dart can travel straight to the heart. I love the thrill and unexpectedness of serendipitous meetings, so I’m always prepared. And even though attraction will not hold without substance, it’s a wonderful Joker card to have (and play).
I’d noticed the deep-voiced man when I first walked into the café. It was one of my favorite spots in Beverly Hills.
He was tall, with long arms and legs, and his wavy hair was brushed back from his full forehead. He was wearing glasses, and though they lacked a designer logo, I could tell by the frame that they were high quality. Classy. He was sitting at a table by himself and working intently on his laptop while sipping coffee. I glanced down at his hands. No wedding band.
My friends who I’d walked into the café with asked where I wanted to sit, and I'd nodded my head in the man’s direction. It had taken less than five seconds to take it all in.
As I approached his table, I smiled and asked if he minded if we shared his table. I then sat within his direct line of sight, but not too close as to crowd his space.
Before we left the café, he asked for my number, and the rest is history. I don’t get overly invested in new men that I meet, but who knows. Whether it remains a brief courtship, or it turns into something deeper, it doesn’t really matter. I utilized seduction to attract him into my aura, and I’ll continue to do so until I no longer wish to.
Seduction is Best Without an Off Switch
I often encounter women who are mystified by men. They’re unsure of how to flirt, or how to get a man to ask them on a date.
Seduction should be effortless and natural. Don’t overthink it. Getting trapped in your head and second guessing your every move is the fastest way to kill attraction. Desperation and lack of confidence have their own scents, and its a perfume that repels.
Every woman has an inner muse and siren inside her. All you need to do is tap into that essence and exude it.
Seduction, like anything else in life, is a skill. The more you practice, the better at it you become. You’ll also start to notice which men it’s most effective on. We each have a seductive archetype, and certain men are drawn to those specific energies.
When a seductive quality is inherent and integrated into your natural movements, thoughts, and actions, you’ll have better results because there is beauty in fluidity, while stagnation emanates from the awkward and robotic.
If you’re interested in exploring your seductive side, I’ve listed four tips to assist with the first phase, which is attraction and flirting:
1. Strategically Utilize Body Language
Smiling and leaning towards a man when he speaks are both components of seduction. People usually respond to body language unconsciously, and by learning to decipher and give cues, you can make your seductions much more impactfol. Pay attention to whether a man leans towards you, or moves closer, when speaking. Spatiality is important. When I walked over to the table, I smiled first, and I was able to determine potential interest just from his response. It does take practice, but after you’ve mastered body language, the process will be as natural as breathing.
2. Integrate Eye Contact
Eye contact can be very sensual. There’s a saying that the “eyes never lie,” and I strongly believe it. Attraction can be felt and communicated through holding someone’s gaze – or even by looking away and then back again. Combining eye contact with body language (such as smiling) can be doubly impactful. It’s essentially a universal signal of interest to hold a man’s gaze, smile, look away, and then look back again. If he approaches, then your strategy worked. If he doesn’t, he’s either not interested or otherwise “engaged.” I don’t recommend doing the approaching. Smiling and eye contact is enough.
3. Use Your Imagination to Telepathically Seduce
Unless they’ve mastered the art of holding a poker face, most people communicate emotions and feelings through facial expressions. You can usually tell when someone is nervous, upset, or sad by examining their face, and you can utilize this same universal law to seduce. If you think about sex, or something that arouses you, while looking at a man, he’ll naturally register your facial expression as an attraction response to him. You can utilize that sexual or sensual energy to draw a man in. He’ll either respond (and he won’t know why), or he won’t (and then you’ll know why). If a man doesn't react to your imaginings, he could just be distracted (i.e. otherwise engaged), but more likely, he just isn’t receptive to your archetype. Now, this is not to say that you should openly leer at men. Please DON’T. This is a subtle process. It should never be overt, as you don’t want a man to think you’re open to sex (at that moment). This is magnetism, and a ploy to a man’s subconscious. When I utilize this strategy, sex is NEVER clearly on the table.
Telepathic seduction is at optimum potency once you've mastered your own emotions, and your confidence doesn't fluctuate in response to men. During the dating process, a level of detachment is necessary to navigate situations without making impulsive or irrational, emotional decisions — and to avoid bequeathing your personal power by allowing a man to maneuver in ways that are in his best interest, but not yours.
In my book, The Muse's Guide to Reinvention, I dedicate a full chapter to mastering your emotions, and include a guided spell that you can implement to heal your inner child (which is usually the origin of most women's issues and blockages around emotions).
4. Positioning is Key
Be strategic with your positioning. Whenever I attend an event, I usually do a solo walk-around to see if anyone piques my interest, or vice versa. Some men will not approach a woman if she’s in the middle of a group of friends, so don’t be afraid to separate from the crowd. Furthermore, placing yourself within line of sight is a tried-and-true method. As I mentioned earlier, when I sat at the table, I was close enough to easily lock eyes with, but not too close as to be awkward. You can’t be afraid to get close. It’s all a part of the seduction.
Each of these tips can easily be implemented into your everyday life. Try not to be stiff. Seduction should be fun, not nerve-wracking. Try these tips the next time you go out and leave a comment with your results.
If you're seeking personal, in-depth guidance and support as you navigate the dating process — and you desire to attract masculine partners that adore, respect and cherish support you — I'm available for 1:1 coaching sessions.
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