Characteristics of a High Value Man

At present, the term “High Value Man” has been so manipulated, overused, and distorted that its essentially lost all attachment to its original meaning. Although I personally dislike the phrase, until I discover (or create) an alternative term, I’m going to use it as a point of reference.

Contemporarily, the word “value” – whether it correlates to a person or object – tends to be conflated with money, cost, or a perception of perfection. However, when we’re speaking about humans, those definitions are very minuscule in comparison to the overarching scope of what makes someone a phenomenal partner.

In my book, “The Muse's Guide to Reinvention,” I discuss the false equivalent of perfection and value, but for the purposes of this post, I’m going to focus on the 17 essential characteristics that make a man “high value.”

*As an aside, be wary and cautious of men who use the phrase "high value man" to describe themselves. People who are good do not refer to themselves as “good people,” because the obvious do not need to be stated. The same logic applies to this situation.

By my definition, a “High Value Man” (is):

  1. Respectful
  2. Keeps His Word
  3. Makes His Intentions Clear
  4. Has Emotional Maturity
  5. Kind
  6. Is a Gentleman
  7. Esteemed by His Community
  8. Generous
  9. Successful
  10. Loyal
  11. Leads with Actions
  12. Has Integrity
  13. Ambitious
  14. Has a Positive Mindset
  15. Is a Protector & Provider
  16. Has Done His Shadow Work
  17. Has a Purpose, Connection to Spirit

As I described in my blog, "Learning to Trust the Divine Masculine is a Dance," although energy is absent of gender, high value men (that desire women as partners) typically exhibit qualities and characteristics reflective of divine masculine energy.

Masculine energy is fire 🔥. It’s protective, stable, action-oriented, purposeful, and craves prestige and stature. In human form, those traits are reflected in a man’s thoughts, movements, lifestyle choices, and partner selections. His embodiment is complimentary of feminine energy, which is creative, intuitive, supportive and yearns for adoration.

A man such as this has kindness in excess. He responds directly, but with empathy, and in his desire to protect and provide for you, he behaves in ways that support those aspirations. He will compromise (within reason) and think carefully about actions which may affect you. This is not to be confused with someone who is spineless or allows/condones disrespect out of fear. A kind man is simply a kind man.

A high value man is assertive and pursues what he wants. If what he wants is you, then you won’t have to wonder. His intentions will be clear, and in alignment with his level of effort. He will be reliable, give freely, and listen to your longings; be they carnal, material, emotional or spiritual.

He senses, adores, and is fascinated by soft, feminine power. He loves to be inspired and nurtured by his muse. He hungers for enlightenment and understanding, and for a feminine partner to explore the wonders of the metaphysical and alchemical.

He can talk as easily about philosophy and spiritually as he can about business, and he is chivalrous, giving in, but still maintaining the lead.

On a quantifiable level, a high value man understands the importance of legacy and how its maintenance is supported by power. His competitiveness is driven both by the joy of winning and the rewards which accompany achievement. He is consistently positioning (and pushing) himself to be more successful in his chosen field or industry, and he strives to be respected by his peers. He refuses to let others corrupt his ethics or integrity, and he holds himself, and the men around him, to a high standard. 

A high value man has mastered his emotions, and likely has journeyed through a “dark night of the soul” to arrive at an elevated place. He’s self-aware and a master manifestor. He knows that he’s capable of securing anything he desires, including you, the woman of his dreams.

As a woman, if you’ve done the inner work to rest in your feminine energy, as well as completed the external, “reinvention rite of passage," then your attraction will only be piqued by suitors who naturally embody and exude these qualities.

Just like Cyd Charisse in the movie, The Band Wagon (reference the video above), I can identify and sense these characteristics in a man immediately. There’s no use wasting your time on those who don’t possess them; the only option to grant zero attention.

Of course, like art, what is “valuable” is subjective, and so, one could say so is a “high value man.” If there are any essential qualities that you think I missed, leave a comment. I would love to hear your definitions.



If you're seeking personal, in-depth guidance and support as you navigate the dating process — and you desire to attract masculine partners that adore, respect and cherish support you — I'm available for 1:1 coaching sessions.

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I write about sensuality, intimacy, the divine feminine, untethering, ritual, spirituality, poetry and discovering Self through "the Other." All subscribers receive a free "muse" digital coloring illustration in their welcome email.

Film Credits: The Band Wagon (1953). Director: Vincente Minnelli. Writers: Betty Comden and Adolph Green. Starring Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse.

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